TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!
| 21 |
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
|
4395
5894
1499
|
|---|---|---|
| 22 |
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
|
3716
5738
2022
|
| 23 |
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
|
3703
4522
819
|
| 24 |
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
|
3499
4676
1177
|
| 25 |
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
|
3475
4830
1355
|
| 26 |
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
|
3404
4444
1040
|
| 27 |
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
|
3403
4296
893
|
| 28 |
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
|
3329
4190
861
|
| 29 |
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
|
3314
4795
1481
|
| 30 |
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
|
3178
4283
1105
|
| 31 |
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
|
3071
4097
1026
|
| 32 |
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
|
3021
3891
870
|
| 33 |
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
|
2992
4066
1074
|
| 34 |
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
|
2958
4080
1122
|
| 35 |
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
|
2938
3709
771
|
| 36 |
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
|
2866
4184
1318
|
| 37 |
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
|
2842
4035
1193
|
| 38 |
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
|
2768
3537
769
|
| 39 |
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
|
2710
4100
1390
|
| 40 |
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
|
2615
3525
910
|
NEXT:
See related posts:
No comments:
Post a Comment