Selected from funnyordie.com
Oprah Winfrey sat down
Lance Armstrong this week for a revealing interview, in which the disgraced athlete admitted to using performance enhancing drugs throughout his storied career. it was just one of many revelations Armstrong came forth with:
- Yeah, he may have been doping, but he's been riding a fixed-gear bike, which is "like way harder."
- Has never even been to France, let alone "toured it"
- Founded Livestrong "for the chicks"
- He's been jacked up on cocaine-infused Gatorade since '94.
- Thinks of himself as a prankster, citing the times he regularly injected Floyd Landis and other teammates with HGH as a goof.
- His regret is not the doping, but the cameo made in Dodgeball.
- Was disappointed that Oprah had not hidden a "lifetime of peace with his decisions in life" underneath his seat.
- Wears an extra pair of bicycle shorts underneath his main bicycle shorts in case anyone tries to pants him.
- Believes steroids is "something you just get but can't really figure out where from. Like the flu or HPV."
- Thinks he got steroids from shaking Jose Canseco's hand in 1998
- Can only have sex if he's wearing a helmet.
Tags:
Lance Armstrong,
Armstrong,
confession,
Oprah Winfrey interview,
Oprah ,
Winfrey ,
fixed-gear bike,
bike,
France,
Livestrong,
Gatorade,
Floyd Landis,
Landis,
Dodgeball,
Jose Canseco,
Canseco
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