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Monday, December 15, 2014

CHRISTMAS PARTY MEMO CHAOS!

Christmas Party

December 1...To All Employees

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free
to sing-along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as
Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.
Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please
remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.

Merry Christmas to you and yours,

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 2...To All Employees
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and
often coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from
now on we're calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There
will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 3...To All Employees

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that
reads "AA Only" you won't be anonymous any more.
In addition, we'll no longer be having a gift exchange because union
members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 7...To All Employees
I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to
the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes,
there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.
Happy now?

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 9...To All Employees

People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan." There is no evil connation to our own little "man in a red
suit."

Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 10...To All Employees

Vegetarians! I've had it with you people. We're holding this party at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit
at the table farthest from the "Grill of Death" as you call it, and
you'll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have
feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear
them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you
hear me?

The Bitch from Hell
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December 14...To All Employees

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel
the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
full pay.

Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director


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Kobe Bryant "Passing" Memes II!

In light of the eventual Kobe Bryant "passing" Michael Jordan's  third place all time scoring mark, here are some "passing "/assist  jokes/memes on Kobe's "passing "- or the lack of it! Enjoy!!!





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Kobe Bryant "Passing" Memes I !

In light of the eventual Kobe Bryant "passing" Michael Jordan's  third place all time scoring mark, here are some "passing "/assist  jokes/memes on Kobe's "passing "- or the lack of it! Enjoy!!!








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Saturday, July 19, 2014

The KING Returns: Cleveland fans Then and Now react to LeBron James' exit and return






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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Obama's Presidential Zings during Miami Heat's WH visit.

from the article By Ball Don't Lie........



Check out the highlight of the two-time NBA champs Miami Heat's second straight January visit to the White House meeting with  US President Barack Obama in celebration of their 2012-2013 NBA Finals victory. It was contested then by the Miami Heat and the San Antonio Spurs. It was Obama's late-night-style monologue about the two-time-defending champs which brought the house down! Check out the video, and some of the president's best zings, below:



In gist.....
  • "Usually people enjoy coming to the White House, but I have to say, I've never seen folks more excited than the Heat when they came last year. I mean, LeBron was so pumped up, I thought he was going to give me a hug and knock me over."
  • "We've got some outstanding members of Congress who are big fans of the Heat. They're from both parties. Because we all know nothing brings people together like the Miami Heat. Across the NBA, there's just a ...unifying sense about the Heat."
  • "This group has won twice, but it's gone to the finals three times, and sometimes it feels like they're still fighting for a little respect. I can relate to that."
  • “Last season, the Heat put together one of the most dominating regular seasons ever by a defending champion. They won a team-record 66 games. At one point, they won 27 games straight, the second-longest streak ever. Extraordinarily impressive ... almost as impressive as the Bulls’ 72-win season. [beat] Riley and I were reminiscing about those Knicks years.”
  • On the dramatic close to the fourth quarter of Game 6 against the San Antonio Spurs: "And then, they brought out the ropes. And then, Ray Allen saw them bring out the ropes. With five seconds left, Chris Bosh gets an incredible offensive rebound, passes it out to Ray, he’s backing up, he has to jump forward, hits one of the most iconic shots of all time. Then, he added a few choice words about the ropes, which we cannot repeat here. Ray — I do want you to know, you know, when you say those things on the court, like, people can read your lips, right? You do understand that? OK. All right.”
  • "Everybody on this team participated. And from Ray's big shot, to to the contributions of Mario Chalmers, Shane Battier, Udonis Haslem, Birdman, Birdman's tattoos, Birdman's Mohawk ... [laughs] the Heat showed us the kind of heart and determination it takes to be a champion."
  • "I heard that all of you are getting ready to embarrass yourselves by singing some karaoke for Shane's education foundation. Let's leave Al Green to the pros, people."
  • "We're very proud to have them back. We wish them great luck for the rest of the season, unless they're playing the Bulls. And with that, I think we should take a picture, but we should make it quick, before one of these guys starts yelling at Mario. I mean, sometimes it's just a bad pass, guys. It's not Mario's fault. [to Chalmers] I got your back, man."

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