TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!
from onelinerz.net
81
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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
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82
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You're never too old to learn something stupid.
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83
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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water.
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84
|
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship
together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think
of you often.
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85
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said,
"I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll
be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you
won't be able to get into the corners very well."
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86
|
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be
evil.
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87
|
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
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88
|
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
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89
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To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
whatever you hit the target.
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90
|
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't
resist.
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91
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Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others
have no imagination whatsoever.
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92
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A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like
a computer.
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93
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If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
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94
|
Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
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95
|
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
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96
|
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after
it as when you are in it.
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97
|
Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost
like you're still here."
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98
|
Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has
never stepped on one.
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99
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If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some
people have more than one child.
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100
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Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
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See Previous related post:
TOP 100 funniest one-liners: 61 to 80
TOP 100 funniest one-liners: 41 to 60
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